A mother and daughter from Hartlepool have made an emotional appeal for people to quit smoking following the death of their husband and father.
Debbie Thomas, 59, a clinical support worker at the University Hospital of North Tees, lost her husband Denham in 2021.
Diagnosed with Chronic Obstructive Pulmonary Disease (COPD) – a disease that destroys the lungs and is caused by smoking – when he was just 35, former pub landlord, nightclub doorman and fitness instructor Denham was confined to a wheelchair from his mid-fifties, requiring full-time family care and oxygen.
Smoking changed our lives
Debbie said: “Smoking changed Denham’s life completely, and it changed all our lives. It is so terribly sad thinking of all the things he missed out on.
“Nothing can prepare you for how frightening it is to see someone close to you struggling to breathe. It was such an awful experience because whilst he was gasping for every breath and his lips going blue, all I could do was watch because if I tried to help it would only make the situation worse.
“He would tell everyone he could to stop smoking and tell them: ‘You don’t want to end up in a wheelchair and on oxygen like me.’ ”
Video appeal
Debbie and Denham’s daughter Sadie, now 25, have featured in a video by Fresh North East to share Denham’s story and to encourage other smokers to quit for good. The emotional video, available to view on YouTube, shows the impact that smoking can have on an entire family.
Denham’s story
Debbie:
“Just watching somebody there gasping for breath it’s not very nice to watch and you feel so helpless ‘cos you can’t help. In his prime he was a fitness instructor, he always smoked.
“When he was in his 30s he was starting to struggle to breathe and he started to find he couldn’t do the things he loved.”
Sadie:
“I’ve never knew my dad to be fit and well. I can only remember him being on oxygen, in a new wheelchair.
“But obviously we seen a lot of dark times, saying our prayers at home, hoping that he’d survive this hospital trip.
“Now looking back on that night I think he was asking for my permission to let himself go.
“He used to say ’Oh God if, I could only have me time back I would never have smoked.’.
“Stop smoking now.
“Do it for your family, not just for you.”
Voiceover:
“Put smoking behind you, get help to quit at: www.freshquit. co.uk.”
Sadie said: “Even as a child I knew things were different because of my dad’s health, and it just got worse over the years.
“He missed so much. He never even got to meet my daughter and his granddaughter Soul. He would have loved her.”
Devastating
Ailsa Rutter OBE, director of Fresh and Balance, said: “Tobacco is devastating in the scale of harm and death it inflicts on people who smoke. It also affects the families left behind. Too many people in our local communities have experienced the pain, the worry and the loss from diseases caused by smoking.
“Never give up on quitting smoking. Every time you try to stop smoking you learn something, even if you don’t succeed the first or second time. Next time it can be different.”
Help to quit smoking
For more information on Fresh, visit: www.fresh-balance.co.uk
Smokers in the Stockton and Hartlepool region can call 01642 383819 for advice and support to quit.
Smokers in Middlesbrough and Redcar and Cleveland can call 01642 727579 to access expert smoking cessation support.